Jumped Ship

It’s been a long time since my last post, but I’m finally ready to start posting and sharing this year. Since this is my first entry of 2013 and it’s been so long since I last wrote, I thought I’d make this a more personal entry and take the time to get you caught up to speed with what’s going on with me. It’s ’bout to get real.

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I still miss my little friend. “Puddin” 05/1997-10/2012

The reason it’s been so long since my last entry was that I made a sudden decision back in November to move from the east coast to the west coast. With my cat passing away in October 2012, the hustle and bustle of the holidays, back to back trips around the country including a stop at Art Basel 2012 in December, and the exhausting tasks of preparing for a long-distance move, blogging was the last thing on my mind for the last few months. I had been wanting to make a move out west for a while and finally started saving up last year, but even when circumstances had cleared up for me to move I was still reluctant to pull the trigger for many reasons. Too many to get into in this post so you’ll have to ask me yourself! The increasing feelings of stagnancy, disappointment, and being uninspired became the main catalysts to making this move. So in mid-January I finally jumped that sinking ship and moved from the DC/MD/VA area to Reno, Nevada. Definitely wasn’t my first choice, I must admit! But basically I was able to make a job transfer so Reno was a compromise I had to make just to get the hell outta there at that point. Probably the most impulsive decision I made in a long time, but I was steadily feeling out of place where I was so this needed to happen. When it came down to it, I was more than ready to go. The move was low-risk but high-change and even though that plan wasn’t really what I envisioned, ultimately it was the right balance for me.

Here's a chunk of my life, didn't seem like a lot once it all arrived to the new place.

Here’s a chunk of my life, didn’t seem like a lot once it all arrived to the new place.

The first month or so was difficult! This is a new kind of isolation that I’m feeling. I had been on my own for a long time way before now, but this is the farthest away I’ve ever lived from my hometown. Of course, I miss my mom and my friends and certain familiar places and faces but with all of the ways available to stay in touch there’s really no excuse for me to feel disconnected from that. It’s been interesting to see who really does make the effort to reach out to me and who responds when I reach out to them. Anyway, after the initial shock wore off it’s gotten easier and easier to adjust. The hardest part now is in making new friends on my own! This is the paradox I sometimes face as a mostly introverted person: I’m completely fine with going out by myself and doing my own thing amongst a room full of people, most of the time it doesn’t faze me but sometimes I do actually wish to be noticed. The problem arises because most of the time I’m not inclined to go out of my way to build any deep connections since I’m mostly fine with just myself – and the battle continues. Now that I’m in a new place, it’s becoming more important for me to make connections for different reasons so there are times that I find myself wanting to crack the shell but not feeling very comfortable about it so either I just don’t do it at all or I take a more subtle approach. I’m slowly getting better about it, but I think this is something with which I’ll constantly work on achieving balance. It’s never going to be perfect.

I live within an hour away from this.

I live within an hour away of this.

In the meantime, now that there are a lot less distractions I’ve been gaining a little more discipline and motivation. I’ve continued to insert myself in the right environments and feed off of the right energy. I’ve only been here two months and already people have been making comments about the positive changes they’ve noticed in me. That, along with other things I’ve picked up on, reaffirm that I made the right decision at the right time. I spent the last few years tending to some big internal shifts and eventually I noticed I ended up needing a physical change to match it. People sometimes ask me about homesickness – I don’t know what that feeling is yet! Outside of my friends and family I really don’t miss much about being back east at all. At least not at this point. I definitely don’t see myself moving back there any time soon, but I’ll certainly visit. It would have to be for some sort of drastic or worthwhile reason for me to plan to move back. There are still too many negative feelings that I associate with being there. So, sorry Friends! Skype, phone, text, IM, or email will have to do for now.

Finally, when it comes to any artistic endeavors I think I started this year off on a productive note. I’ve been feeling a lot more inspired and have been receiving so much encouragement. It’s certainly conducive to creating more artwork and trying new things, which is what I’ve been doing. Even in some small ways. I think it’s ironic that I would feel more productive out here than in DC where the art scene is a lot more saturated and more well-known. I think that probably speaks more to how different the art communities are between the two cities. I’ll talk more about that in a later post though.

On my way to creating another piece.

On my way to creating a new piece.

Purple Paintbrush will continue on, even though I’m in a new place and still figuring out my way here. I can’t wait to be able to learn more about the Reno arts scene and share it through my eyes. You’ll also continue to see any of the new work I make or collaborate on, visuals that interest me, random stuff, and I’ll still be more than happy to share encouragement, resources and thoughts in hopes to inspire and relate to you.

I look forward to all we’ll do this year!

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